(OK, I know these have been done to death, but if you know Star Trek and programming, these are hilarious)
Things likely to be overheard if you work with a Klingon programmer:
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual 1800MHz Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
- You cannot really appreciate ‘User Friendly’ until you’ve read it in the original Klingon.
- Indentation? – I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
- What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not release software. Our software ‘escapes,’ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
- Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’ – they have ‘arguments’ – and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
- I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.
- A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
- By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. PREPARE TO DIE!
- You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Let them use it without a manual or let them flee like the dogs they are!
- Our competitors are without honor!
- Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say that we ship it!
- My program has just dumped Stova Core!
- Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!