Jokes For The Brainy (Or Those Of Us Who Wish We Were)

And now a little something different – some real funny (at least to me) jokes from this site.

I’ll admit I didn’t get them all (the logician one at #3 stumped me) but fortunately, this site also gives explanations – so you can tell them to people, look at them over your glasses and then say, “You do get it, don’t you?”

If you want more, Reddit also has a list of ‘intellectual’ jokes, including some of these and others on this page.

Some favorites from the lists:

  • It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
  • This sentence contains exactly threee erors.
  • A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please”.
  • Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
    He’s 0K now.
  • What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.
  • There are two types of people in the world: Those who crave closure,
  • Q: What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?
    A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot.
  • Day 19: I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool – Pavlov’s Dog
  • A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, the statistician yells “We got ’em!”
  • What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
  • Rene Descartes walked in to a bar. Barkeep asks “Do you want a drink?”
    Descartes says “I think not,” and poof – He’s gone.
  • They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they’re not laughing now!

… And Some Programming Jokes:

  • There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who know binary and those who don’t.
  • A logician’s PROGRAMMER’S wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
    His wife asks impatiently: “So, is it a boy or a girl”?
    The programmer replies: “yes”.
  • The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
    The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
  • A programmer’s wife sends him to the store and says “get some bread, and while you’re there pick up some eggs” The programmer never came back.
  • To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
  • An Internet Trio:
    1. I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
    2. I prefer IP jokes; it’s all in the delivery.
    3. I could tell you a joke about TCP, but I’d have to keep repeating it until you got it.
  • Why do engineers PROGRAMMERS confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

Enjoy!

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